Hi, I’m Ryan Wilson and I’m here to give you my best and worst wrestling ring attire.
Now I know what you’re thinking, this fat mofo has about as much fashion sense as Stevie Wonder in SuperDry.
This is true, but let’s face it, this is a wrestling website mostly frequented by Man Beards who’s mum still dress them.
I think it’s fair to say though we’ve all seen our fair shares of classic outfits, as well as a few howlers. Let’s start with the latter.
#1 Bastion Booger
A disgusting sweaty flat slob with food and grease all over him, covered by only white/gray cloth covering his dignity…and that’s just me!
Nah for real though, this gimmick was the worst. It also came during one of the worst time periods in wrestling. The less said about him the better. We move on.
#2 Black Reign
Who could forget Goldust?
One of the most legendary characters in professional wrestling history. Bizarre, groundbreaking, androgynous and without doubt one of the best uses of ring attire to help a character develop.
Now look at Black Reign. A man dressed like a bin bag, carrying a spike and a wee rat in a cage.
In fairness, Dustin WILL block you on Twitter if you make ANY reference to Black Reign, as apparently he is disgusted with that period of his career.
As he should be, this was pretty tragic.
#3 Vince with Durag
Ah yes, Vince McMahon: ECW Champion.
The final nail in the coffin of WWECW. The worst thing to happen to professional wrestling since Katie Vick.
You thought December to Dismember was bad? Well you hadn’t seen anything yet!!
I understand if you don’t remember this, because this was the period in time when literally nobody watched ECW. And thank God for that. In fairness, it was hilarious and got great heat.
#4 Kassius Ohno
Look, I’m a fat guy. I appreciate that it’s difficult to be in a business that focuses so much on shape when you don’t have the most typical body type.
I have been a fan of Chris Hero for a very long time. The guy is totally amazing. He is criminally underrated, and apparently one of the nicest guys in the business.
But he looks ridiculous man. I can’t take him seriously when he dresses like the basketball fan who gets invited into the court at half time to dry and dunk for charity.
Just wear a Vader singlet and own it mate.
#5 Samoa Joe
This is the EXACT moment I stopped watching TNA. I remember it well.
2009. Samoa Joe and his “Nation of Violence”. Cutting about with a machete and a cock drawn on his face. The most talent guy on that roster, reduced to wrestling in his joggies! Screw you TNA.
#1 Sting (Crow)
I can’t really think of a character transformation quite like Surfer Sting to Crow Sting.
Blonde hair, colourful outfits, silly leather jackets. I love all that silly stuff but the bleak 90’s audience was having none of that old school garbage.
Sting had to change with the times. Or…you know…steal a gimmick Scott Hall saw in a movie.
Didn’t matter though, Sting completely owned that look and character. One of the very few things that WCW done well was keeping Sting special.
The anti-hero from the shadows, didn’t say much and showed up to take on the all powerful NWO. He was over as hell and that’s down to the whole presentation.
He took that character and ran with it through WCW, TNA and finally WWE. Absolutely iconic look if you ignore the whole Joker thing in TNA.
#2 Macho Man
I don’t have one particular outfit in mind, as Macho was one of the first wrestlers I remember who looked different every single time I watched him.
Bright colours, tassels, the hats, jackets and ropes, unnecessary glitter. This is what pro wrestling is all about.
One of my favourite wrestlers of all time and about 60% of that is down to look. Superb.
#3 Raven in ECW
‘Member the 90s? ‘Member Nirvana and Beavis & Butthead? This is what I think about when I see Raven in ECW.
He was quite simply the coolest guy in wrestling at the time.
The torn jean shorts, prog rock cut off t-shirt, flannel shirt tied round his waist while wearing a leather jacket. That was the shiz back then!
Didn’t hurt that he had an incredible character and rivalry with Tommy Dreamer, and put on some bloody classic matches and cut superb promos.
I’m not having his attire in WWE with the blonde dreadlocks and the leather kilt/skirt. Get that right into the bin!
#4 Rey Mysterio
Rey Mysterio is one of the greatest of all time and will go into every wrestling Hall of Fame imaginable.
And rightly so, the guy has been doing it at a consistent level for decades, and has always looked great.
He has had literally tens of thousands of masks and attire made for him and has wore them from the glamour that is WrestleMania to bingo halls in small town America. All that time keeping the Lucha Libre tradition alive.
I wasn’t a huge fan of his first WWE run with the baggy pants trying to cover up the knee brace, but his WCW, ECW and recent return to WWE has produced some truly iconic looks.
In particular his little purple number (that’s what she said) that he wore against Eddie Guerrero at Halloween Havoc ‘97.
However with every hit there are a few misses and every now and then Rey has produced a few shockers. Remember when he lost the mask in WCW and was in the Filthy Animals wearing little devil horns? Yeah, not great.
Or ECW One Night Stand against Sabu with his “please cheer for me” ECW logos all over the place.
Still though, one of the most celebrated and recognisable wrestlers of all time.
#5 Kurt Angle 2006
If you were to ask me to build you the perfect wrestler based on height, weight, hair and ring attire, I would build you the “Wrestling Machine” Kurt Angle!!
I absolutely adored this period in time for Kurt Angle. I know his neck was about as wide as a bowling lane and he was full of the gas, but I don’t care.
You truly believed that he would destroy anyone in the world in a shoot fight. All black ☑️ amateur style wrestling shoes ☑️mouthpiece ☑️.
If you don’t agree with this you are wrong. It’s true, it’s damn true.
So there you have it! In no particular order, my favourite and least favourite professional wrestling attire.
Do you agree? Of course you don’t, this is the internet.
Feel free to tell me how wrong I am in the comments section and/or all social media platform. @SuplexRetweet or get me at @RyanTakesSmack. We want to know the most interesting wrestling attire you’ve seen.
Until we me again…go outside and play!
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